My to-do list is slowly shrinking. The bags are slowly filling. Our collective sanity is slowly fading. In five days time, we board an airplane and fly west – so far west, in fact, that we will land in the far east, in the country known as the… (pick one)
Land of the Morning Calm
Land of Scholarly Gentlemen
Land of Splendid Rivers and Mountains
Rooster Forest
Great East
Eastern Country
Eastern Country of Courtesy
Eastern Plains
Eastern Land
White-Clad People
Three Thousand Ri*
Azure Hills
Rivers and Mountains of the Eight Provinces
Land of Hibiscus**
Three Kingdoms East of the Sea
Flourishing Eastern Sea Country
Eastern Domain
Country of Early Morning
Granted, some of these titles are rather archaic, like the Joseon Dynasty’s “Small China.” I highly recommend you DO NOT show up in Korea and start calling it “Small China.” Nobody will like you. And while we’re at it, don’t call the Sea of Japan, the “Sea of Japan.” It’s the “East Sea.” Just ask IKEA.
*Ri aka Li aka Chinese mile: a traditional measurement of length that varied over time but is today equal to half a kilometer
**Hibiscus syriacus is Korea’s national flower