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First Impressions: language

Greetings, all!

Or should I say: Anyeonghaseyo!

I’d write that in Hangul but I’m still trying to figure out how to switch languages on my phone.

It’s been a busy week (more on that later), and last night was our first night in the new apartment (more on that later). We don’t have internet yet, so I can’t post pictures. Hopefully, soon.

Anyway, I wanted to briefly discuss our first impressions with the language. I read somewhere that the Korean for Korean is Hangugo, but honestly I’m not sure what’s real or not anymore.

Why? Let me explain…

When I first started researching this country, I read that English and Korean are so different as languages that it’s difficult for native speakers of one to learn the other. That’s why few Koreans speak English even though it’s a mandatory subject at school.

“Pish posh,” I thought. “I got a hold of that whole pluralize-a-word-by-nasalization thing in Urdu, I’m sure it will be fine.”

Now, I am by no means a master linguist, but I studied language in school. Plus, I’ve travelled quite a bit and picked up key phrases in various countries, so I figured I’d start the same.

Let’s start with: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” Because if you’re going to be an ignorant foreigner, you can at least be a polite ignorant foreigner.

I checked my little So You’re Moving to Korea book’s phrase list and there was “I don’t understand”: XYZ. Got it. Off I went to the grocery store, but drat if I didn’t remember. That’s okay, I’ll just check Google Translate. “I don’t understand”: ABC. Huh. Well, let’s try that again. “I don’t understand”: MNO. Hmm. Okaaaaay, how about that Korean language learning app? “I don’t understand”: QRS.

WTF? What the heck do I say???

Sure enough, the cashier asked me something about my credit card and ignorant foreigner just shook her head and made some strange “Duhhhhhh ohhhhh uhhhhh” noises like a weirdo.

Later that day, I asked the kindly realtor Ms Lee. “XYZ?” I said, with hope. She shook her head, “EFG.”

Well, whatever. We start language lessons next month, so maybe we can figure it out then.

One word I did learn for certain is the word for bunny: tokki. I was trying to have Connery say, “I like cars,” for Ms Lee, but he was struggling with the word for car: jadongcha. How about Lena? Bunnies.

“Tokki!” Ms Lee said. She then preceded to both sing and dance a children’s song about a bunny in the mountains.

I highly doubt you’re reading this right now, but if you are: “Ms Lee, you’re awesome.”

I just can’t translate that very well.

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Seoul

We made it! After an uneventful 10-hour flight from Honolulu, during which the classy flight attendants of Korean Air made sure we never went hungry, we arrived in Seoul. Naturally, the kids only fell asleep the last hour of the flight, so most of my memories of Incheon airport include an exhausted and grumpy little boy yelling at us and any passersby about how much he hates airplanes and travelling and bathrooms and Korea and pretty much anything else that is not his bed. On the plus side, immigration was completely empty by the time we coaxed Mr Grumpypants down the corridor. (Side note: I tell you what, Korean people know how to disembark an airplane. And a 747, no less.)

It was cold and foggy as we made the drive into downtown Seoul. It was a long-ish drive, but city planners apparently have a thing for fancy bridges, so there were plenty of interesting sights to see en route. Our hotel is one of the swankiest I’ve ever been in – not so much for the facilities as for the service. Lots of help, lots of helpers, lots of suits and ties and bowing. Our room looks out over the city, with at least a half-dozen mega-TV advertising screens, drivers who take lane lines as a suggestion, and one surprisingly loud whistle blowing traffic cop in view. The hotel definitely caters to the business class, I surmise from the shoe shine box, nespresso machine, and full sized bottle of cognac in the mini bar. Think glass-and-marble-bathroom. It’s kind of a strange place to watch two young kids yell, “Pooooooooop!” in each other’s faces and collapse in giggles.

bright lights in the big city

Speaking of poop, another side note: Koreans are right up there with the Japanese when it comes to butt hygiene. The bidet in our bathroom does nearly everything for you. It warms the seat, warms the water, gently sprays the necessary places, dries the necessary places, turns on a charcoal air filter when things get a little stinky, and I’m pretty sure I saw “massage” and “sanitize” features, as well, but I’m already impressed with just the three buttons I’ve pushed so far. Aaron put a bidet on our toilet back home, but it was pretty cheap. It’s not so much a You Will Secretly Smile When You Walk Down the Street bidet, and more like Ice Cold Fire Hose Surprise bidet. I’m fairly certain we’ll be upgrading when we return.

Because of jet lag, the kids were wide awake at 4 am this morning. I didn’t plan on doing much today, but we wound up walking around quite a bit. My kids have some kind of Contrarian Mode switch that makes them get all hyped up when we’re in the hotel room, but whine about their shoes and being tired as soon as we go out. A brief stop for bubble tea helped the situation a bit, but a large grassy field helped even more (apparently, running in circles turns the switch off). Immediately next to our hotel is a large underground tunnel, originally built as a bunker (and probably still useful as such), but today a kind of shopping mall. Dozens of tiny mom-and-pop shops sell everything from prescription glasses to slippers to tobacco to wall art. Prices seem reasonable, I suppose, but our perspective could have been altered after visiting the Lotte mall direcly above it, where kid pants are $100 and an apple is $10. I’m curious who pays this. Chinese tourists? I hear that’s a thing.

fancy new city hall building next to Seoul Plaza
stony faced guard finally smirks when goofy waygookin flashes a “V”
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Stopover

We spent 48 hours in Honolulu, to break up our travel to Korea. Our ambitious touring plans quickly gave way to a day at the beach and the pool – a better choice for antsy kids weary from sitting in planes and cars. (Cool as they may be, the battleships must wait for another day.)

thanks to jet lag, we could enjoy a beautiful morning on Waikiki

I seem to find myself on Oahu about once a decade. My goodness, has that place changed. With each visit there seem to be more high-rises in the city and homes on the hills. Even our hotel – where I stayed in ’92 – is at least twice as large as I remember. It now has not one but TWO Starbucks (were these even a thing in ’92?), along with the ever-important Lappert’s ice cream shop, ABC stores, Whalers, and myriad other shops and overpriced cafes. Good times in a tourist trap. Albeit, a beautiful tourist trap.

The kids played nice in the pool for awhile with an Australian boy. It made me happy to think that this venture will allow them to meet and play with kids from all over the world. I always love to see the little ways in which people the world over are alike. When the Aussie kid ever-so-gently pushed Connery into the water, his mother leapt up to chastise him and apologize. Aaron and I laughed, because all of his friends back home have done this at least once. “We raise ’em rough in Australia,” she sighed. I could well have said the same of Arizona.

oh, Hawaii, how I love you

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To Korea…

My to-do list is slowly shrinking. The bags are slowly filling. Our collective sanity is slowly fading. In five days time, we board an airplane and fly west – so far west, in fact, that we will land in the far east, in the country known as the… (pick one)

Land of the Morning Calm
Land of Scholarly Gentlemen
Land of Splendid Rivers and Mountains
Rooster Forest
Great East
Eastern Country
Eastern Country of Courtesy
Eastern Plains
Eastern Land
White-Clad People
Three Thousand Ri*
Azure Hills
Rivers and Mountains of the Eight Provinces
Land of Hibiscus**
Three Kingdoms East of the Sea
Flourishing Eastern Sea Country
Eastern Domain
Country of Early Morning

Granted, some of these titles are rather archaic, like the Joseon Dynasty’s “Small China.” I highly recommend you DO NOT show up in Korea and start calling it “Small China.” Nobody will like you. And while we’re at it, don’t call the Sea of Japan, the “Sea of Japan.” It’s the “East Sea.” Just ask IKEA.

*Ri aka Li aka Chinese mile: a traditional measurement of length that varied over time but is today equal to half a kilometer
**Hibiscus syriacus is Korea’s national flower